Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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