do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
