I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
