Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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