two words: eviction party
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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