so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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