I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
