you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
