hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
