hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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