i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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