We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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