I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
