you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
