Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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