haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
