so explain again why im purple
no
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Randomize
