Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
