I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
