Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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