just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize