dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
