Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
