covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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