im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize