hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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