But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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