quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
