arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
