no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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