yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
