big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
