So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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