come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
