Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
