he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize