I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
