honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
