just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
