Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
