what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Randomize
