You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
You don't make any sense
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