scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
