Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Dick very happy bro
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
