Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
