wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Send help, water and tortillas.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
