this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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