then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
