nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
