In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm bleeding and have questions
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize