Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
