I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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