it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
