i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
