Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
