I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
