No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
