Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize