I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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