we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
